BDSM & Spirituality

What I’ve learned about piercing the veil of the Underworld/unconscious mind is that you will never pierce it until you have faced the fears of piercing the veil. The Goddess requires an offering and sacrifice if you choose to commune with her, whether it be within yourself or within spiritual practice and ritual. This means that bravery, courage, ego death, and trust is required because we have to take that leap into the unknown. Order, conscious-awareness, organization, and structure must be sacrificed in order to reach the deepest parts of our unconscious mind. Trusting in the process is a prerequisite, and trusting in others has taken me twice as far.

The leap into the unknown required in BDSM mirrors the leap of faith demanded in spiritual surrender. Both involve a profound letting go—of control, ego, and certainty—that allows us to access deeper layers of ourselves. Subspace, much like spiritual ecstasy, is a state of altered consciousness where the boundaries of the self dissolve, the body feels weightless, the mind opens, and time becomes elastic. In this moment of pure surrender, trust takes over, and we become acutely attuned to the present. Spiritually, this mirrors the courage needed to relinquish order and logic in rituals, fully embracing the unknown to connect with something greater. Both are acts of profound vulnerability, where the body becomes a vessel for transformation and the mind opens to a connection that feels simultaneously intimate and transcendent, leaving us more whole than before.

A powerful parallel between BDSM and spirituality lies in the concept of contracts. Both require deep communication, intention, and preparation. In BDSM, negotiating contracts with my submissives allows me to create safe, transformative experiences that honor their desires and fears while embodying my own Divine Feminine power. Similarly, as a witch, I approach the Universe with the same level of clarity and trust when setting spiritual intentions. In both BDSM and spiritual practice, these agreements are acts of intention—reminders that the path we walk is chosen with care, especially if it leads us into the unknown.

BDSM has taught me that true self-discovery requires courage: the courage to confront our shadow selves, trust in others, and surrender to the unknown. Through this practice, I’ve connected with my Divine Darkness and emerged more whole. Whether kneeling in subspace or commanding as a Dominatrix, I’ve learned that transformation begins when we embrace discomfort and trust the journey.

My path has been anything but traditional, yet every step has brought me closer to the truth of who I am. Whether through spirituality, BDSM, or the intersection of both, I’ve learned that transformation begins when we embrace our shadow and trust in the journey toward wholeness.

The journey toward wholeness isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. How might your own shadow—if embraced—guide you toward the light?

// Evie Noir Jan. ‘25

Evie Noir (they/she) is a nonbinary queer femme, published author, and Pro Dominatrix. Their work delves into emotionally rich LGBTQ+ romance, exploring themes of transformation, identity, and the complexities of human connection. Known for crafting vivid, character-driven narratives, Evie captures the beauty of resilience and love in all its forms. When not writing, they are a Bikram yoga teacher, an advocate for ocean conservation, a Pro-Domme, and a pagan with a passion for herbalism. You can find her work at evienoirauthor.com.

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